Why Who You Are is More About Your Decisions Than Your Circumstances


Why Who You Are is More About Your Decisions Than Your Circumstances

Why Who You Are is More About Your Decisions Than Your Circumstances

When you show up to a new job, a new city, a new day, who are you going to be? The obvious answer is “myself,” but is it ever really that simple?

You’re a friend, wife, lawyer, brand ambassador, thinker, yogi, daughter, mother, and on and on and on. You’re so many things to so many people, how do you ever begin to be yourself?

Consider who chooses the role you’re playing? And how will that role dictate how you think, act and feel today? Right now?

Most often, we start by listening to others. We reference what friends, employees, or girlfriends SHOULD do. We let the world tell us who we SHOULD be and how we SHOULD feel.

Many of us don’t start our days off with a conscious decision to go inward and pay attention to how we feel. The alarm goes off, the smartphone is checked, then the to-do list beckons and it takes all we can manage to eat breakfast, let alone listening to our inner voice.

Maybe we check-in later in the day. Or perhaps we tell ourselves we will but we then get distracted with the un-ending ‘busyness’ of life.

Often our unrealized dreams present themselves in the body. Blocked energy can show up as aches, pains, listlessness or longing.

We tend to want a quick fix and to stop any uncomfortable sensation. We  emphasize the cure rather than the cause. Suppressing our shine creates strife within.

On a practical level we must live with a degree of responsibility and respect, yet doing so does not mean that society can dictate who we are ‘supposed’ to be.

Try this: Imagine you’re your friend and you’re watching yourself go through your day. How do you seem? Joyful? Bright? Depressed? Sour? Look carefully. Be an objective friend. Ask yourself if this person is someone you’d like to be friends with?

If you don’t like what you see then ask yourself what you could change? How would you encourage your friend to express her light? Give yourself the same advice.

You’re not who the world says you should be. Who you are is not about how old you are, how much money you have, or the roles you play. Who you are is who you decide to be in every second.

So instead of waiting for a new environment to determine who “myself” is, take a moment to decide who you want to be and let how you feel and what you do appear accordingly.

—> We often need these reminders of identity – reminders to come back to who you are at your core. Will you join me in this journey back to self? In the comments below, share who you want to be today and how you’re aligning with that. I’d love to support you in your journey!


See what other people say about this article.


at 44 i still feel challenged with self worth i do lot of spiritual stuff yet old memories keep creaping back

By michelle mc loughlin on Jan 28, 2015 | 5:27 pm


Hi Michelle! I totally understand doing spiritual stuff and still struggling with negative thoughts. First, check out the blog post before this about why we are challenged to take our own advice. Second, I’d love to chat with you about this more and see how we can tackle it once and for all! Email me: saren@gloweffect.com xo

By Saren Stiegel on Jan 28, 2015 | 8:49 pm

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