why rock bottom can mean ROCKSTAR!
This week I watched someone I love give up hope and let fear dominate her choices.
Hope can allow a breakdown to be a breakthrough. Hope can turn rock bottom into rockstar.
Whether you or someone you love is on the verge of rock bottom, please know that if you can catch a hopeful perspective, things can turn around.
“What is so hopeful and beneficial about rock bottom?,” you ask.
Let’s call this someone I love “Sarah.” A couple of months ago, Sarah was about to hit rock bottom and give up on her dreams. She had lost confidence in herself and a bright future. Fear had taken over. She was ready to leave San Diego and go back to Ohio. A perceived lack of money and love were drawing her further down.
Then she met a guy. With endorphins buzzing from their delicious romance, she decided that there was still hope. Her dimming glow began to brighten. She started exercising and eating healthy. She made work connections. She started re-doing her portfolio. She dreamed big.
Unfortunately, she didn’t take the time to do the internal work, meaning transform her thoughts, beliefs, and feelings for empowerment. Her newfound sense of hope was based on her new boy, an external presence. Consequently, Sarah’s victim-consciousness, self-sabotage, and fear began to creep back into her psyche.
External sources of inspiration are by no means bad or wrong–they’re incredibly necessary. We just can’t rely on externals as a substitute for internal transformation. A fabulous job, new city, Celine bag, or an influx of cash can provide a temporary high, but long-lasting fulfillment comes through internal work.
Not surprisingly, when the endorphins of the relationship wore off, Sarah’s self-hate took a toll. The guy was willing to stand by and support her glowing transformation, but she lost hope. “I don’t believe change is possible,” she said and pushed him away.
WAIT! Don’t get sad–this doesn’t have to be the end of my story! This could be a chance for rock bottom, i.e. no more movement down, to turn into rockstar, i.e. movement upward, if you can retain hope. You must believe that many–I mean hoards–of people have transformed horrendous circumstances into miracles. This hope is the beginning of a shift.
Here are four ways you can rethink rock bottom and begin your journey upwards:
1. You’ve reached a pain threshold.
Why is it that you can feel a tremendous amount of pain, but don’t change? You haven’t experienced enough pain, which means you haven’t hit a level that you’re no longer willing to settle for anymore. Rock bottom is the magical shift where pain becomes your ally. Pain becomes a call to action. That decision to remove pain from your life and establish pleasure—the pleasure of growth and strength—that’s the force that makes you transform.
2. You see your role in your suffering.
Pain is inevitable–we’re all going to experience it. Suffering, however, is optional. Acknowledge that everyone experiences pain, but not everyone is living in misery. Those people that are joyful, despite difficult circumstances, are doing something different. They choose to consistently raise their vibration.
I don’t mean to minimize your pain. I’ve been there–I know it’s very real. The point is that many happy people in this world have gone through really bad stuff and come out thriving. When you can believe in transformation, you can see that you don’t have to be a victim of your circumstances. You can see how your choices can either perpetuate suffering or transform your life.
3. You reconnect to you.
Rock bottom tends to come with lots of emotions and introspection. While this is very difficult, by becoming conscious of your thoughts and feelings, you can see how you work. This whole transformation thing is not about changing who you are. It’s about becoming more of who you already are.
When you allow yourself to feel, you learn how lovable and amazing you are at your core. This beautiful self-connection process is part of your craft. You’ve just received the best material to fuel your creativity–this is tough stuff is what classic art is made of. That is, you can transform your rock bottom status into ROCKSTAR status.
4. You’re ready to make a commitment.
Like I said, when pain becomes a call to action, you’re ready to make a decision, a commitment to being your highest self. Know this: it is decisions, not the conditions of our lives, that determine our destiny.
Every decision says no or yes to something—yes, I will change this habit; no, I will not continue with this destructive behavior. The word “decision” comes from the Latin roots de and caedere— from and to cut, respectively. Making a true decision means committing to achieving a result, then cutting yourself off from any other possibility. Suddenly, there’s no such thing as failure–only action until you achieve the goal.
As for Sarah, until she is willing to believe in the light at the end of the tunnel, even if she can’t see it, all of these rock-bottom perceptions of are impossible to see. Start by knowing that transformation is possible–that this is an opening, a peeling back of the layers to get to a more connected you… and rockstar status is not far off.
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