When Adult Growing Pains Got Ya Down
I often write about how to create confidence, get out of your comfort zone, and tap into your purpose. Just as important, if not more, is what happens when you get there.
What happens when you’re in a season of consecutive wins? What happens when you feel like you’re already in a contortion of reality and you must stretch yourself further?
For most of my life, I wanted things that would look amazing on my resume. This included getting into the best college and law school, then getting the best accomplishments therein, and finally getting the best job.
Notably, each of these feats was about the “getting,” not the journey. None of it made me feel alive. The alive was only in that sweet moment of “getting” then I was onto the next thing.
So then I did something crazy: I stopped and asked myself, “What will make you feel alive the whole time – not just in the getting?”
When I answered, I started designing a life full of incredible humans: ones that are my partners and support systems, ones that are my tribe, ones that we exchange with in other countries. I wanted a world of loving and mindful ambition, a world of aliveness and inspiration.
More specifically, I wanted the world I’m creating right now: an exceptional community of glow-getters, a romantic partner and business partners that are the most supportive and awesome people I know, and a business and growing nonprofit that are massively impactful.
Cue the adult growing pains…
Everyone has an inner thermostat of how happy we allow ourselves to be. If we were any happier, there’s a part of us that thinks we’ll die. Some people refer to this as “self-sabotage,” but you’re not consciously sabotaging yourself. You’re protecting yourself.
Adult growing pains are when you’re hitting that ceiling. You’re trying to push passed it, but everything in your body is too freaked out to move. This manifests as a desire to hide, sleep or argue when things get good.
Yesterday, I was there: I refused to get out of bed. I hid from my boyfriend under the pillows. As I began to punish myself and insist that I had to get out of bed to conquer my to-do list, I acknowledged my growing pains. Creating my vision took a couple of years, but it’s happening. A day to indulge in the growing pains is not going to hurt anyone, so I did work from bed, but I put the breaks on the ambition.
The key was acknowledging the growing pains: acknowledging that I am stretching myself so far out of my comfort zone daily that a moment to let my happy muscles grow was necessary.
When you’re feeling the pains, don’t resist. They’ll get worse. Instead, allow, welcome, and watch them dissolve. The result is a more energy to get out of your comfort zone tomorrow.
While realizing your success is essential, getting through the growing pains, your protective instincts, are also vital. Outside of that protective, comfort zone is where your true glow effect lives.
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