What NOT to do when frustrated and stuck
Funny story: I filmed a whole video blog about this for you and then tried to edit it. My iMovie “quit unexpectedly” (<-Mac terms) about 20 times. I got so frustrated and stuck I wanted to scream. Good thing that I had this info prepped and ready to remedy the situation…
How often do we have a habit or a pattern and we try every little thing to fix it but nothing is working?
I try to be confident! I try to stop procrastinating! I try to eat better!…and so on.
It’s the MOST frustrating thing when nothing is changing, right?
Recently my client, let’s call her Ivy, comes to me with the problem: I’m perpetually late.
She said, “Everyone is fed up with me. I’m fed up with me. I’ve tried every trick to remedy this habit but nothing is changing. What do I DO?!”
If you’re doing things and taking actions from the same mindset that got you to the frustration in the first place, nothing will change.
A better question is “What story or rule is creating my perspective of this situation and ultimately inhibiting my actions?”
In Ivy’s case, she was telling herself an interesting story. She said, “I’m afraid to tell someone that it will be 30 minutes late. I don’t want to disappoint. I’d rather underestimate, like saying 15 minutes, and hope for the best.”
Instead of the other person using 30 minutes, she ends up waiting the whole time.
Ivy’s story was certainly disempowering her control of the situation AND it wasn’t true: people won’t get mad if you say 30 minutes, but we will be frustrated if you say 15 minutes and are late.
So instead of asking, “What do I do to stop this?” Ask, “what story or rule is creating your perspective of your situation?”
Until you get to the rule that is creating your way of being, no actions or doings will remedy your frustration and stuckness.
With iMovie, rather than beating my head against the wall anymore, I stopped focusing on what to do, and looked instead at my mind-frame. I convinced myself that a vlog was the ONLY option this week. Wrong. I shifted my perspective and found that this mode of communication was way more gratifying. It wasn’t the doing that remedied the frustration. It was a shift in perspective.
What do YOU do when you’re feeling frustrated and stuck? We’d love to hear from you!
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