The MOST Important Relationship Question
Disclaimer: I do not propose to be a relationship coach. It’s not that I don’t know a TON about relationships, but this isn’t my focus.
My focus is on your glow. Your light has a ripple effect into your relationships, career, and health. You – your self-worth, connection, purpose – is where we start.
Before we get to the MOST important question, there are two things you must know:
1. Light is the point.
I’m constantly harping on the light concept. Seriously, though, what is more important? The energy you take and give to the world creates the world – your world.
Light is this little bit of God, spirit, the big bang, Krishna, Mohammed, etc. proving that we’re not only creatED, but we’re creatIVE and creatING.
You created your reality, even if you didn’t realize you were doing it, even if you forgot that you did it. In that way, you are not the victim of circumstances, of creation, or of someone else’s opinions. If you created your reality, then you can re-create it.
When you realize your light, you can create any life you want.
2. Masculine and feminine energies are different.
When it comes to spirituality and how we bring light into the world, feminine and masculine operate differently. Yes, you have both energies, but you are predominantly one.
The feminine is a vessel for the light, while the masculine is a conduit. This means that the feminine is the manager of light and the masculine earns the light.
In other words, the feminine energy gives the consent to when she (or he) gives light.
*Note: you NEVER ever give away or obtain your light completely. Your light is always there. Our journey is to figure out the where’s, when’s, and how’s of giving it.
If you’re dominantly feminine, knowing your worth and protecting your light is vital. The masculine’s role is to cherish that invaluable light you provide.
So what is the MOST important relationship question?
Too often, we ladies will pay attention to how we feel about a man to determine whether we want a future with him.
Relationship expert, Alison Armstrong, says it best: “Way more useful is to pay attention to how you feel about yourself when you’re with him. Instead of do you love him – Do you love the you that you are with him? Does he bring out the best in you? Are you a happier, saner, smarted more fulfilled person because of him? Or does he make you crazy with chemistry and longing and a sense of impending doom?”
That “impending doom” is where I resonate with this. There is nothing worse than starting a relationship with that feeling that something is off. You feel disempowered – at any second the rug could be pulled out from under you.
It’s not that you don’t love yourself to start. It’s that you’re giving without receiving, without the masculine earning your energy.
That’s where you trigger the most important question… The question is not “Is he the one?” or “Do I love him?”
The most important question is “How does he make me feel about myself?”
That is, since light is the most important thing, as the feminine, you must feel empowered to give it at your consent.
If you don’t feel this way, love yourself and your light enough to know that there are more conduits in the sea… or something 😉
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