One thing you can do RIGHT NOW to GLOW…
“Although we have been made to believe that if we let go we will end up with nothing, life itself reveals again and again the opposite: that letting go is the path to real freedom.” -Sogyal Rinpoche
A couple of weeks ago, I had the sincere pleasure to be interviewed by Alyse Mason Brill, co-founder of Sweat Guru and Fit Approach. I don’t want to spoil the fun interview for you (stay tuned!), but my answer to her last question surprised me so much that I’ve continued to think about it since.
Alyse asked, “What is one thing we can do right now to glow?”
My answer: “Say ‘No.'”
The typical answer is something like “Say ‘Yes’ to life.” Of course, you should live life to the fullest with a passionate “YES” to all that’s fantastic.
But ya know what we don’t do enough? We don’t say “No” – no to the mediocre, no to the things that are just okay, not fantastic. Too often, we settle for the good, dis-believing that it can get any better. We don’t demand more out of ourselves or life and then wonder why we don’t glow.
There are two reasons why we don’t say “no”: (1) fear of disappointment, and (2) fear of regret.
(1) Isn’t striving for fantastic begging for disappointment?
Last week I wrote about not letting perfection be the enemy of your good. This is not the same. If you say “no” to good, you aren’t necessarily shooting for perfection.
Perfection is an illusion. It’s a subjective endpoint that doesn’t exist. In fact, when you reach any endpoint – when you’re stagnant – you’re no longer growing. And if you’re not growing, then you’re dying.
Saying “no” isn’t striving for a perfect endpoint – it means you’re choosing growth. You’re choosing to stretch what’s possible for your life, not out of fear of settling, but out of the promise of aliveness.
(2) REGRET… dun dun dunnnnn
It’s extremely easy to fear that if we abandon something decent, we may regret. What if the alternative isn’t as good as the former?
Regret isn’t real. It can’t be because regardless of an outcome you learn, only 100% of the time. That lesson then takes you to new heights of the world and new depths of yourself. Only when we’re willing to push our boundaries will the world respond with amazingness.
I have one client that was dating a very good guy. They worked very well together, but something was undoubtably missing. He felt it. She felt it. Yet, they kept saying that they shouldn’t fix something that ain’t broken. During one heated discussion over this missing piece, she was presented with an opportunity – she could say “yes” to decent or “no” to mediocrity. After much of our work on trusting the universe and believing in her potential, she said “No.”
Literally the next day, she met another guy that helped her bring more light into the world.
Is it always so cause and effect – say no and all is coming? Surely not. It may take you awhile to learn the requisite lesson, but once you do, watch out! You will always always always upgrade. Upgrade doesn’t mean a “better” person or thing, but when you have grown and gained the strength of denying the fear of regret, you will definitely attract something better for you.
As Steve Maraboli says, “Stop letting your fear condemn you to mediocrity.”
What is one thing in your life that you have said “no” to and attracted something waaayy better? What is one thing that you can say “no” to this week that will grow your trust muscle and brighten your light? Please share your delicious wisdom with us glow-getters in the comments!
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