How to Master Your Emotions
As much as we want to think that our intellect drives us, our emotions, the sensations that we link to our thoughts, are what truly drives us. So, if you don’t consciously plan how you want to feel, raise your standards, change your limiting beliefs, and change your strategy to get there, society, media, community, and family can hijack your life.
Ok, that may be a bit harsh, but by not consciously choosing your own interpretation of events, you allow the world to choose for you.
Advertisers, for instance, are experts in cultivating sensational experiences with colors, imagery, and music. Celebrities receive millions of dollars for ads because of the emotional experiences they can convey.
When you’re in intense emotional states, anything unique that occurs consistently will become neurologically linked. When those unique things happen in the future, the same emotional experience is triggered. That is, you build beliefs and interpretations through repetitive emotional responses. This isn’t necessarily a commentary on individualism, capitalism or advertisement. This is about transforming your emotional experience for self and world empowerment.
Empowerment means an emotion (“energy in motion”) is mastered and pointed toward creation. Empowerment is an emotional release when you allow emotions to run through you, without attaching and wallowing in suffering.
Let’s be clear, every human experiences emotions. Fact. What’s at issue is how you process them.
Ultimately, all I’ve ever asked was what differentiates the processes of successful, vibrant, genius people in the world? What creates a glow-getter, a trailblazer, and a contributor to society? It relies on what I call, “glowing,” as in the spherical light that allows you to bounce back, adapt to your environment, and learn from the world even while you stay at home.
When dealing with feelings, interpretation, or decisions, the choice of a glow-getter is the one that brings you closer to genius. When you choose what to feel, you are no longer a victim of circumstances, you are an empowered glow-getter.
One thing is clear: human beings are not random—everything and everyone has reason for their actions, even if it’s unconscious.
Tony Robbins articulates,
There is a single driving force behind all human behavior. This force impacts every facet of our lives, from our relationships and finances to our bodies and brains. Everything you and I do, we do either out of our need to avoid pain or our desire to gain pleasure.
Whenever anything happens in your life, your brain asks two questions: 1) Does this mean pain or pleasure? 2) What must I do now to avoid pain and/or gain pleasure? Your answers are what create a belief.
I believe going to the dentist is painful, for example, but getting my teeth cleaned will bring me pleasure. Therefore, despite the pain, I get myself there. If you’re struggling to accomplish something, consider how the short-term pain associations are outweighing the long-term pleasure.
Stories, the compilations of your beliefs, are the guiding force that tell you what will lead to pain and what will lead to pleasure. When you feel frustrated or overwhelmed, unable to make a change, it’s because you’re trying to change the effect, the emotions, instead of trying to change the cause, your pain/pleasure associations and the unwieldy stories that result.
This is the most important lesson you learn in life: what creates pain for you and what creates pleasure.
Throughout your life, you learn to seek certain emotions as moving you toward pleasure. With culture and experience you develop unique, coding systems for what feels good and bad. This is your value system—the values that define glowing.
Your glow relies on how you ultimately want to feel. What does your genius actually feel, look, smell, and taste like?
You’re shooting for the sweetheart, the cash, and the accessories, and then you’ll feel joy, fulfillment, and success. What if, first, you get clear on the person you want to be (generous, loving, joyful, successful, and so on), then you design the wish lists?
When you’re clear on how you want to feel, your decision-making gets to the heart of your genius…
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