How to Make a Big Decision with Grace


How to Make a Big Decision with Grace

How to Make a Big Decision with Grace

Ohhh, the agonizing… Should I leave the job or should I stay? Do we work at the relationship or break it off? Should I move or stick it out here? If you’ve ever asked for or given advice, it’s an answer to the “What do I do?!” question.

This week, I asked myself this question. Clients, friends, and mentors asked me this question. Strangers asked me this question. My answer was always the same:

Listen to your intuition.

Sounds easy enough… but, wait, which voice is my intuition? How do I trust that? What’s the right answer? If we’re constantly questioning our intuition, does that mean that we’re doubting it? How do you know if you’ve made the right choice when the questioning doesn’t stop?

This is where grace comes in. It isn’t about the right choice. There is never a right choice. It is about asking the questions. In other words, the answer will be clear and easy when it’s meant to be. Not a moment sooner. The truth is not exposed on our time. We are given the answers we need, when the universe says we need it. More so, the truth is exposed through the process of asking.

Questioning is as vital as the answers themselves. We learn through inquiry. Forcing an answer creates an internal tension. This tension is equally revealing—it shows that we’ve stopped trusting the universe.

When I confronted a very personal issue this week, I agonized and analyzed. Received advice and feedback. Lost sleep and skipped meals while I camped out in my mind chatter. I consulted my intuition through meditation and yoga, but to no avail. (Loved ones were involved in this issue, otherwise I’d happily share details.)

By the time the weekend rolled around, I was a wreck. Not only did I not have an answer, my internal tension kept emerging as tears. I was exhausted. The last thing I wanted to do was anything healthy or good for myself. I just wanted my bed, chocolate, and re-runs of Friday Night Lights.

Then a miracle happened. I stopped seeing the question as something to be solved, but love in itself. The lesson was living with the question.

Instead of forcing a result, I surrendered to the wisdom of the universe. The answer would be revealed exactly when and how I needed it to be. In that moment of allowing—allowing myself to love the question, allowing myself to trust—my tension cleared. I settled into peace.

Thus, the answer to making your big decisions with grace is just that: grace. We must love living with the questions so much that we allow grace to enter. In the allowing, we’re relieved of the decision-making pressure.

Settle into the questions. Release the anxiety, the mulling-over, the intensity. Allow in grace.

“…I would like to beg you dear Sir, as well as I can, to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.” -Rainer Maria Rilke

How do you make big decisions with grace? Share your tips with the glow community!


See what other people say about this article.


I have to remind myself there are no "right" answers. That’s usually what trips me up – fearing I’m making a "wrong" decision. There are simply just different adventures we can experiment with taking!

By Grace Gold on Jan 29, 2014 | 9:24 pm


That is easily the most difficult thing to remember. We’re always so afraid of making mistakes, but are there really such things as "mistakes"? Thanks for sharing, beautiful! xo

By Saren Stiegel on Jan 30, 2014 | 5:25 pm

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