How Happy People See Themselves Differently
Stuff to do, dreams to accomplish, and challenging circumstances to overcome – whether we’re happy, sad, or apathetic, we have these. Happiness does not come from getting rid of this stuff.
Happiness manifests from how you relate to the stuff: do you think you’re enough? Smart, capable, worthy, strong, powerful, and so on enough to deal with it and create?
After years of talking with people ranging from (self-described) happy to stressed and overwhelmed, we’ve discovered a subtle distinction at play among us #glowgetters.
Some of us heart-centered, ambitious women wake up feeling a thousand-pounds of dread on their shoulders. We think that when we get enough degrees, diamonds, and dudes, we’ll be worthy of such happiness. We see ourselves as incomplete and broken, i.e. “one of my accomplishments will be the magic trick that makes me enough.”
The other type of #glowgetters, in contrast, wake up feeling secure and at peace. We’re not thinking that we know everything or we’re flawless. We feel capable enough to figure it out. We see that our imperfections are what makes us lovable and if we never accomplish anything else in our lives we’re still worthy of happiness. From there, we’re exceptionally more productive, because we’re not operating from self-hate and fixing ourselves. We’re operating from love: self-love first, then, and only then, can we give love to others.
The math is simple: if you’re operating from a negative (think “not enough”), then anything you multiply that with will create more negative – it will deplete you. If you’re operating from wholeness and you multiply that with your accomplishments or connections, you’ll create more wholeness in the world.
The struggle is this “enough” piece: why can’t we see that we’re enough already? We like to say our society made us that way, but we are that society. We’re the people perpetuating the belief that people can even BE broken. Do you believe in our inherent wholeness?
The daily journey for all of us #glowgetters is to look at how we can take responsibility for the toxic, limiting thoughts we use to beat ourselves up.
Ask yourself: are you approaching your days from brokenness or completion? Is today a limitation or a possibility?
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